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Thursday, April 30, 2009

Why?????

HOw can lOve be this hard???Why dO we have tO gO sO far???Is lOve just a Myth, sOmeThinG sOmeOne, sOmeWhere created tO find sOme peaCe of mind,Or am I just being left behind???If this is hOw lOve is suppOsed tO be,then why am i always in sO muCh pain?I can’t belieVe that this is what GOD wOuld have wanted fOr me yet it seems….

Here I am all alOne in bitter pain,and yet in lOve just the same.What is this feelinG that I am having??? Is it just a part of my ImaGinatiOn??? If sO,then why wOuld I want tO dO this tO myself??? maybe I shOuld just give up on finding
sOmethinG,and sOmeOne that is riGht fOr me.PrObably nOt meant tO be.I’ve thOuGht that I was lOved many time,it turns out that it was all a LiE.I can’t help myself frOm wantinG mOre,Yet at the same time just wantinG it all tO end and tO be over with.

There is suppOsed tO be one persOn in life fOr eVeryOne,where is the persOn fOr me??? The persOn I need the persOn whO makes me feel like I can dO anythinG,and be anyOne that I want tO be.WhO in his arms,makes me feel safe and aliVe,and the happiesT in life.I hOpe that it is nOt tOo late fOr me,and that this persOn has nOt P*ssed me by.Or maybe it was me that had loOked the other way,.nOt knOwinG what cOuld be cOuld have been.Why cOuldn’t I see? I’m blinded by pain,I Just dOn’t WanT tO Be This Way.I want tO be lOved and tO give all that I have tO give.TO let myself go,tO be free and tO let the persOn that I lOVe tO see what is really inside of me.
NOt just what I shOw on the outside.The persOn that nO other persOn will eVer knOw.
SOmeOne whO can aCCept me just as I am and nOt want me tO be sOmeOne that I cannot be.


Oh lOrd, please help me,shOw me the way.I dOn’t want tO be afraid,scared,
disappOinted,abused,taken advantaGe of and in this wOrld of pain.What can I dO tO make it all gO away???What can I dO tO change???I belieVe that everythinG has a reasOn in life,sO what is the purpOse of my heartache,my tears and my fears???
Maybe sOmeday,I hOpe,that sOmeOne will be able tO reaCh inside of me and help me tO experienCe life like it was meant tO be.I’Ve waited sO lOng and I dOn’t knOw hOw tO hOld on,keep tryinG,find my place in life.

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